Thursday, 2 December 2010

Girls, help me out

I really want you to get behind me on this. Before I start, I want to stress that I'm going to be making generalisations. Even I can find exceptions, but I'll be using evidence for my arguments that what I'm saying is largely true, and I'm really asking for feedback on this one.

Current stats on alt.com, this is better than other sites because I think generally women are more involved in alternative sex sites because they have more to offer them..

View Current Broadcasts of: All (83) | Men (72) | Women (2) | Couples (man and woman) (5) | Couples (2 men) (0) | Couples (2 women) (0) | Groups (0) | TS/TV/TG (4)
When I clicked through, the one woman online by that  time had 72 viewers, the man at the top of the list had one, the rest none. I always use that as a very direct illustration. Women don't watch as much porn as men- you knew that, right?

Even here in blogland most people come upon my blog by certain search terms- that's why I use the tags! I exist within a world which already has it's rules and standards and expectations. I can't have things my way. But I really want to tell you how I wish it could be.

The reason women don't search for porn is due to experience. It excludes us, we have to search too hard to find something we'd like, even then we'll have encountered countless gynaecological pop ups in the search for fetish art or classy erotic photos. I know men who feel the same. The woman who likes cheesy gynaecological porn is about as rare as that one woman watching the guy in the cam room. (And that woman is probably a man)

I really absolutely don't want to see an orange hard-faced man having sex with a girl two generations younger just because he has an unusual ability to keep hard during the photo/camera session. And if I see it I turn off the pc and go watch eastenders. I don't need an up close biology lesson or another picture of a girl getting a facial.

There is a problem which leads to a fundamental division I can't do anything about. It's hard to fight my corner, my argument for "erotic art" when it too often comes under a banner which automatically includes everything from basic hustler porn to bizarre and unpleasant hardcore which most people search for because they're looking for revulsion or something to ridicule.

Just as the meek naturist couples often have to share space with oil basted exhibitionists- they feel the same, if they were to try to show people how innocent it is they'd have to take them to a place where they're more likely to see public masturbation than anywhere else in the country and their argument would be instantly invalid.

And that's how I feel. For all this time I've been trying to work out how to reach women. I so want to spend my days telling girls how to take amazingly erotic photos of themselves which they and anyone else they can choose to show will find stunning/ sexy/ empowering. Because I know that women feel that their sexuality has to be hidden. They don't want to be associated with a kind of pornography which is about abuse. Many guys visiting prostitutes don't ask if the girl has been trafficked-  or so many of them wouldn't be, they don't ask for credentials of the girl in the videos they look at.

There's a fantastic article in the guardian about the differences between the viewers of male and female strippers. It's a perfect illustration of the polar extremes.

I want a middle ground so that average women (not swingers, not those responding to the desires of their partner) can enjoy erotic images without being visually assaulted by things that will turn them right off) Scarlet magazine was great- informative, clever, erotic, it's gone. Thank god for Ann Summers and internet sex shops.

Women are never going to find me, if they do they'll be frightened I'm a guy wanting to perv over their photos.

I want a world where women understand that guys will always look at girls and that's no threat, but where we can meet them half way.

I've asolutely nothing against porn, nothing against nudists, nothing against swingers. I just want my audience to reach further than that into the wider public. Somewhere between those and the high art world is everyone else, my target market.

But if it doesn't happen soon I'll give up the commission part of my work, give up social networking and concentrate on my own work which I'll sell through galleries.

Is there any hope? I don't know

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